Rice Burger With An X Rated Side – 191 of 365

Rice Burger

Who would have ever thought buying a train ticket would lead to a one of a kind sexually charged meal and at a fast food joint no less.  The travel agency in my apartment building only sells air tickets I found out, so they sent me to their District 1 office.  This wild goose chase finally ended with a reservation for the train to Phan Thiet but no ticket in hand.   I needed a quick snack after all this drama and the nearby Lotteria hit the spot.

This Korean fast food chain offers a new product called the Rice Burger I wanted to try out, and normally I would not include such a mundane item as part of my journey across Vietnam one bite at a time.  However, this one veered into the ditch right out of the gate and became one of those only in Vietnam oddities.  Now if you lack any semblance of a sense of humor or are unfortunately the type to be easily offended and outraged over nothing, now would be a good time to stop reading.

I placed my order for a Bulgogi Rice Burger to go, and the next chain of events just turned flat out bizarre.  The young girl behind the counter boldly exclaimed, “We have promotion” while vaguely pointing to something on the placemat size picture menu lying atop the counter.  I took the bait and asked, “What promotion?”  She then asked, “You like penis?”  I am thinking what the hell kind of promotion is this?  Being the conscientious employee that she was, she told me again, “We have promotion.  I give you penis.”

OK, if you say so.  Give me the penis then.  While waiting for my takeaway at a nearby table, I just couldn’t wrap my head around what she was trying to convey.  A few minutes later she announced across the restaurant, “So sorry sir.  No more penis.  You wait some minutes.”  Seconds later she proclaimed, “So sorry sir.  You have penis now.”  A western guy looked my way and rolled his eyes.

The Item In Question

By this point I was so thoroughly confused I walked back to the counter and asked why she was trying to give me penis.   She giggled as she handed me a small cup of soft serve ice cream with a crushed peanut topping.  The promotion with any Rice Burger ordered turned out to be a complimentary small Tornado which is like a Dairy Queen Blizzard.  This poor girl never learned how to properly enunciate peanut.  I told her the penis was too small and she nervously giggled while explaining, “You pay extra Dong for big penis Tornado.”  I doubt she even knows this unfortunate word for their currency is slang in English for the very item she was trying to insert in my bag.

Oh yeah…the Rice Burger.  That’s what we are here for in the first place…It was interesting indeed.  Two thick rice patties take the place of a bread bun and taste much like sushi rice dotted with black sesame seeds.   The burger is typical fast food meat with a sweet-salty bulgogi sauce.   A slather of mayonnaise glistened on top of lettuce and melted cheese, and I managed to eat about a third of this creation before calling it a day.

Next time I will just have them hold the x rated side.