This one on its own isn’t quite a meal yet was so nasty I have to include it as a stop along this food journey. I know. I know. You are saying to yourself, “Peanuts? This guy calls peanuts a meal?” Let me explain. This foolishness was supposed to be part of a balanced breakfast, and I had planned to just eat some yoghurt, fruit and nuts in an attempt to be healthy. OK, let’s just roll with it and call this an official meal.
Of course the supermarket in my apartment building was out of regular peanuts or cashews and the only nuts available had assorted crunchy coatings and flavorings. A $2 can of shrimp flavored peanuts screamed “try me” just because to my western palate such a flavor infusion seems outlandish and over the top, not to mention nasty. So naturally I was drawn right in. Who wouldn’t be?
And what a deal…buy the can and along for free came a small glass serving dish taped to it. I must say that this freebie is uglier than anything even grandma would have gracing her table when guests come over. I don’t even think Goodwill would accept it as a donation with its cheap feel and tacky pattern.
I popped open the can and the aroma bursting forth overtook me. Seriously, it smelled like a 110 pound German shepherd dropped a gigantic deuce after succumbing to a bout of some serious gut rot. Against my better judgment I bit into of these little pellets caked with this butt crack dust adhering to a crunchy fried shell encasing the actual nut. The taste was horrific. It’s like someone smeared a dead shrimp with the bottom of his or her shoe and then rolled peanuts around in it.
Of course when something is this bad, you just have to try another one. The second attempt was no better so I called it quits. I immediately brushed me teeth and gargled with Listerine for a good 60 seconds. Not being able to swallow Listerine really is a shame for that shrimpy fermentation felt firmly lodged in my throat and I could taste its remnants burbling back up.
Yes, indeed. This was a twofer of unimaginable proportions. Ugly glassware and stinky nuts. Only in Vietnam.