Hanoi Airport Sandwich – 258 of 365

The Sandwich

Airports in America have the usual suspects such as Burger King, McDonald’s and even the occasional Taco Bell.   With the exception of a few Burger Kings at Saigon’s international terminal, the choices here are local food everywhere else.   As long as you like local food no worries at all.   But even this local food is done up in a way only possible in Vietnam.  I’ve walked past a sandwich stand at the Hanoi airport more times than I can count and finally decided to bite.

Two girls behind the counter yapping on their cellphones ignored my presence so I stood there.  And stood there.  And stood there some more.  Only a coughing noise finally got their attention long enough to garner a bored look from one and continued avoidance by the other.  The one on the stool stared at me for about 15 more seconds and finally walked over.  You know, if I am standing at your counter, yes, a transaction on my part is most likely imminent.  I don’t just aimlessly loiter staring at stuff for my health.  I looked around at my surroundings to make sure I hadn’t been somehow transported to a fast food joint at the Atlanta airport.   Yes, I have seen this disinterested look more than once on Concourse D.

A third girl materialized out of nowhere to take my order for a premade sandwich festering in the glass case.  With bare hands she placed it in a toaster oven and I thought how nice, it’s like their version of a toasted Subway.  Along with some pork sausage, cucumber and bacon, a healthy serving of this fuzzy, shredded pig skin mess had adhered to the mayonnaise.  And of course everything tastes better with bacon right?  The only problem here is these slices of pig were raw, and I mean raw like out of the package raw.  This wasn’t even prosciutto raw but raw greasy bacon strip raw.  The fact that she had earlier touched the bread numerous times with bare hands was the least of my worries now.

Raw Bacon

Why not just dump a raw egg on it or dredge it through slick chicken juices?  Not only could the raw pork then exude trychnosis, but we could also get a dose of salmonella and giardiases and suffer the whole perfect trifecta.  I tried the pork fur and a piece of the sausage not touching the bacon and gave up entirely.

Let’s just say the cockpit trashbag ended up eating an early lunch.  I prayed the pork fur crap wouldn’t stink everything to high heaven the rest of the day.   At least this foolishness only cost a little under $2.  Had I bought this mess at an American airport it would have been $7.   But then again I probably would have eaten it and not thrown it away since it would have had some heat applied to pork strips.   Surely Quizno’s and Subway do not stuff pork fur looking crap and raw bacon into their subs.

I know foods like bacon are borrowed from other cultures but at least learn to cook the trichnosis out of them!

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Categories: Vietnamese Food

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